Get inside bailey's head
Warning: It can be scary and full of profanity in there!
Two words that describe a relationship that I have had with food for as long as I can remember.
I have struggled with:
The list goes on and on. When I was recently asked to describe my history of my relationship with food, I quickly realized that “a disaster” actually did best describe this relationship in my life.
It goes a little something like this…
Ages 12 - 18: Now I say age 12 because I remember being in grade 7 the first time I dumped my ham sandwich into garbage at lunch time and cracked open a Pepsi instead. Throughout my middle school years I wasted an astounding amount of food that my Mom had packed me by dumping it into the garbage every single day (sorry Mom!).
During my middle and high school years, I would leave home in the morning without eating lunch, spend my entire day not eating but rather drinking bottles of Pepsi. Even the pop machine guy started giving me free cases of Pepsi. After school I would play whichever after school sport I had that day then I would go home and eat the dinner that my Mom had prepared for the family. I would have a snack before bed and then start the process over again the next morning.
Relationship status: Starving.
Ages 18 - 25: Freedom! The year I turned 18 my boyfriend and I bought a condo in the city. We were free to eat whatever we could afford and spend as much time in restaurants as we pleased. We had weekend rituals of going to Boston Pizza for dinner and eating pizza bread and then to the movies and eating ALL of the popcorn.
During these years I got married and had two children. I also added 60 pounds to the scale. I regretted every carb I ate.
Relationship status: Obsessed with eating…anything.
Ages 25 - Current: During this time I joined a few different types of health and wellness programs and learned a LOT about food, macronutrients, fitness, muscle building. I learned that I am capable of strength and developed a healthy relationship with fitness.
Also during this age I have been very unstable with my eating habits. The snapshot that I see is very similar to my teenage years of starving only, this time it wasn’t on purpose. My daily routine would be eat something small enough to get through the morning workout followed by coffee. Have really good intentions of eating something for lunch but by 3pm I realize…I’ve only had coffee. By 4pm the feeling of hunger reappears as the honey and cream from the coffee wear off. Now I’m STARVING and eat all of the food I can get my hands on.
Relationship status: Fucked right up.
As you can see, my relationship with food has been on a yo-yo since I was a teenager. One of my recent goals was that I wanted to be lighter so that I can master some of the gymnastics movements I have been working on. Gymnastics has never been my strength in life, even as a child, so it’s something that I would like to grow!
I decided to work with Eric Elliott from Refocus Nutrition to see if he could help me get lighter but not necessarily lose muscle. It wasn’t until he asked me the question above, “what is your relationship history with food?”, that I realized getting lighter is not my next goal.
My next goal is to build a healthy relationship with food, where I am fuelling my body with the proper portions of macronutrients throughout the day and enjoying the process of preparing and eating really fucking good food.
Eric has been absolutely amazing to work with so far. He respects all of my goals and is working with me to reach them in the safe and sustainable way!
I am SO excited for this next journey. Watch my Instagram account for updates on my progress :)
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